Git Gud at Love! A Squire’s Guide to Romance and Adventure in Love Esquire X

In Love Esquire X, the spotlight shifts from hero to sidekick, and the stakes? They’re personal. 

As a squire with a less-than-heroic reputation, you’ve got one shot at romance before marching off to war. This quirky blend of dating sim and RPG invites players to experience a hilarious adventure filled with awkward flirtation, stat-boosting, and just enough turn-based combat to keep things interesting. 

Can a clumsy squire woo his dream girl and make a name for himself? It’s all up to you—and your charms. 

Git gud and start playing  Love Esquire X today on either your Android device or PC browser!

A Squire’s Tale 

Love Esquire X turns the typical RPG narrative on its head, casting you not as the knightly hero but as his luckless squire on a comical, romance-filled quest. Your goal? Win the heart of one of five unique heroines before time runs out and you’re sent to the battlefield a virgin. 

Our journey begins on the first day of the month as we are woken up from a deep slumber by our adorable step-sister, Amelie Boden. She is a bubbly farm girl who isn’t afraid of a hard day's work! She seems to be bouncing around with excitement about something, when you realise it’s your birthday. Before you can react, she has tackled you to the bed in an Amy Ambush in her excitement. Knowing how much of a pervert you are, she has gifted you a pair of funky specs that allow you to see through clothes! Like the x-ray glasses you could order at the back of comic books, now you get a delicious view of Amy’s rosy breasts. What a sight they are for sore eyes, all soft curves and perky little nipples that look perfect for pinching! 

Time to get up though, because it's your first day as a squire.  So, let’s meet Amy and Hugh at the Tavern in town to learn just what it takes to become one! 

Squirely Studies 

In Love Esquire X, a War is looming on the horizon and the Queen will need her forces to be strong. Since you are a newbie, your education begins at the Tavern where you will soon find out whether you will be dying a virgin before you even see any action on the battlefield!

The Tavern is where you meet up with Amy and Sir Hugh now that you have left home. Here Hugh explains the essentials of how to be a squire, which starts with your flirting skills, or lack thereof. Your first squirely mission is to chat up five women in the tavern to flex your love muscles. Think of the Tavern as a training ground because here you can up your charisma levels to improve your Cheer during battle, as well as raise Sir Hugh’s defence levels. 

Of course, flirting isn’t the only important step on the way to becoming a great squire! Grab your library card, because the Archives is where the cool dudes are at. Here you can brush up on every subject you need to know, as well as increase your intelligence when it comes to your healing abilities during fights. The bigger the heal, the better the rewards! 

The last stop on your squire training list is the Barracks, a place where blood, sweat and tears are shed every day. Train here to bolster your strength as well as Sir Hugh’s, which certainly helps when tanking mobs of enemies. 

Be careful though because when you trek anywhere into Town and back Home, you use up energy and time spent during the day. A pop-up window will let you know how much time it takes to walk over to a certain location, but beware! You only have till midnight until you turn into a pumpkin. Oh, and if you are out later than midnight, you risk waking up late for your next day as a squire, which doesn’t leave you much time to do any training. Use your time wisely in between locations in Town so you can make the most of your days! In addition, you will  want to rest up after each day spent out, so the next day comes sooner! The early bird does get the worm, they say. 

Don’t worry though, Sir Hugh will be checking in at the end of every month to see your progress and make helpful suggestions like which element of being a squire you need more training on. 

You have four months to git gud, but before then practice makes perfect. Head over to the Outskirts of Town and see just how far you’ve come. 

The battle is on Love Esquire X!

From Zero to Love Hero 

An aspect that makes Love Esquire X so much fun to play is just how funny the animation style is as well as the turn-based battling. From moves that literally slice the Earth in half to Angels opening their tops to flood the planet with healing breast milk, you won’t want to miss out on the hilarity! What kind of monsters inhabit such a world though, and how can they be defeated? As a fellow squire, I’ll give you some pointers! 

Watch out, it looks like a craft gone wrong! Oh wait, it is just an incoming enemy. It would seem the Poring, a mob of amorphous slimy blob monsters, are out for blood and they’ve teamed up with a bunch of sexy Bandit Girls along with a pack of wolves in the area. Quickly get into position, your first fight is up ahead! 

Unlike other classic RPGs, Love Esquire X focuses on your character and how important your role is in assuring victory! As Sir Hugh’s squire, your real capabilities lie in your healing abilities and how well timed you are at using them. You can also Cheer Hugh on like an awesome cheerleader to ramp up his attacks, Taunt your enemies and Loot precious booty! However, once you unlock Limit Breaker, four new attack options are provided. Such as Ultimate Flex, Fisting God, Angelic Heal and Final Climax. Don’t let the names fool you, because they pack a mean punch when you most need it in battle. 

Now that you have tasted victory, loot or Gold won during the battle will be divvied out by Sir Hugh once he’s taken his cut as well as the King, with state taxes included too! Plus, if ever you lose a battle, Nurse Giselle is at the Infirmary, just waiting to patch you up. 

With fighting experience under your belt, it’s time to work on losing your virginity!

5 Waifus to Rule Them All 

How embarrassing! It seems like everyone in Town knows you’re a virgin, but that doesn’t have to be the case for long. With five datable Waifus to choose from and a multitude of possible endings all based on your personal interactions, Love Esquire X balances comedy with romance in a thrilling blend! Who are these five mysterious Waifus though? Get to know each one and unlock your future. 

Your quest to lose your virginity begins now as it takes you on a path where you will meet a variety of beautiful women of all kinds. So, whether you like big breasted babes with loads of heart or girls with big attitudes but little titties, Love Esquire X has you covered! 

However, maybe you prefer a brainy girl who provides a challenge to win her heart! Meet mysterious Nurse Giselle, who may or may not be trying to curse her patients using witchcraft. Giselle’s quick wit, medical know-how and feisty attitude make her an excellent choice if you enjoy foraging in the Outskirts of Town for supplies and studying in the Archives. Another beauty in Town has an even bigger attitude than Giselle, even if she might be 4 feet tall. Known either as Shrimp, for her small stature, or Vel, this tiny lady needs no one to protect her! With a sad background as an orphan fleeing from Bordemer, her tough exterior hides a soft heart. Although she may pick fights constantly in Town, or anywhere she goes, rest assured that Vel will always keep you safe! 

Speaking of neighbouring villages, next up is Alkosi royalty, Princess Kamala. A foreigner from a distant village, she has come with her ambassadors to broker an alliance with your town. Tan and wearing a tightly fitted dress with a plunging neckline that shows off her huge tatas, she is a stunner worth checking out! 

Last but not least, is another royal beauty, Queen Beatrice who puts Queen Elizabeth to shame! Golden ringlets, a haughty attitude and curves worth dying for, this Queen knows what she likes. With so much on her to-do list, maybe you could become her close confidant or more! They do say physical activity helps relieve stress after all.

Before you can get the girl and ride off into the sunset though, there are a few crucial steps to take before the wedding bells ring in Love Esquire.  

Learn the art of seduction and create lasting bonds that will resonate with you forever. 

Wooing Waifus  

In Love Esquire X, aside from your mission to git gud at being a squire, you can also choose to make connections in Town. The hard part will be choosing which Waifu is best for you!

As a squire, you need certain skills to survive, one of them being the ability to take in details and use them to your advantage. Well, the same applies to flirting!  Enjoy learning what makes each girl tick by selecting from a series of subject prompts such as; family, likes, hobbies, their dark pasts and much more depending on the character! Unlock new subjects to chat about as you get closer and eventually find out a character’s birthday to place on your Calendar at home. Make sure to get an extra special gift for them by heading over to the Plaza. 

A huge market, the Plaza sits at the centre of Town and houses Selena’s shop. Here you can use Gold to obtain items to either keep for yourself, or give them to your Harem of babes. The better you get to know the women in Town, the more information you will have about what they like or are interested in and that leads to some serious brownie points. Use items like large fish, grimoires, tarot cards, bouquets of flowers, desserts, makeup and a ton more to woo the ladies! If ever you aren’t sure how much progress you have made with any of the girls, head over to the poster in your room at home to check the status.   

Now off you go Romeo to begin your devirginizing journey! 

More Than Just a Sidekick 

With its mix of wit, romance, and classic RPG mechanics, Love Esquire X offers a world filled with laughs and surprises! 

As a squire, you will encounter adventure and challenges, but with heartwarming and hilarious twists along the way. Take charge of your future and discover a multitude of possible outcomes while you search for your Waifu. 

So, pick up your sword, don your x-ray specs, and dive into an unforgettable journey by playing Love Esquire X on your Android device or PC browser today. 

Adventure – and maybe even love – awaits!